A good friend of mine on facebook asked me to join in with writing about things I am grateful for in my life, for six days in a row, so, I started to write a list each day. Soon I found that there were so many things I am grateful for and six days was not enough to recall them all. Friends started to read the posts and encouraged me to write some more and as a result of that, this blog was born. The first six posts will be the original facebook posts, but, after that the list will continue. Here we go…….
Day 1. Happy Childhood.
I am starting here because this is the foundation to all my gratitude.
My parents and grandparents were not wealthy people but they were rich with love, patience, kindness and creative ways to stretch a penny. My maternal grandmother, Lizzie Gilbert, taught me how to cook, bake, pluck and clean a chicken (in those days when you had to take out all the insides yourself and pluck off the feathers by hand!) wash and sort clothes by and how to manage a larder. She is the only person I have ever met who could get 11 (yes 11 – no exaggeration here) roast lamb dinners from one small shoulder of lamb each Sunday. There was no fridge in her kitchen and although this may make me sound ancient, it actually was not that long ago. Money was tight so she managed as best she could. In spite of having very little, she would give away her last penny if someone came asking or if she saw someone with a greater need than her. She taught me practical skills with patience and love and never once shouted at me for making a mistake. From our time together in her kitchen I learned how to be grateful for the small things in life because these are often more important than the big things and that having kindness and compassion for others is as life should be.
As parents go my mum and dad were simply the best! My mum worked full time most of the time whilst I was growing up which is why I spent so much time with my nan. She was a seamstress and when she wasn’t out working, she made our clothes and worked on her trusty Pfaff sewing machine at home. Dad worked 7 days a week for the first eight years of my life and during that time he also went to night school to get further engineering qualifications to put him in line for promotion at work. Through all of my childhood I never once noticed how difficult things were for us financially. We kids had birthday cakes and present’s each year, Christmas presents at Christmas, Easter eggs galore and new shoes when we needed them. It is only with hindsight that I can see my parents struggle, but, money was never discussed in our house and there were some people living in our neighbourhood who were a lot worse off than our family. We laughed a lot and my favourite thing in the world was sitting on my dad’s knee and falling asleep with my head against his chest, just listening to his heartbeat. I have a clear picture of him one summer night, having just got home from work and still in his work overall’s, playing cricket out in the street with me and my brother and all the other kids in our drive (he was the only parent out there). He loved nothing more than batting the ball away just as hard as he could to make us scramble after it. I can see him clearly as he threw his head back and laughed uproariously as we moaned and shouted at him for hitting it too far! I am grateful for the love and protection my parents gave to me and my siblings. They shielded us from some of the harsh realities of life and by working as hard as they could, they gave us everything we could ever need.
There are five of us Parnell kids. My brother came along three years after me and then my sister two and a half years later. My brother was fast and bold as a child and not afraid to say what he thought. I was more timid than him in many ways. He got a new tool set for Christmas one year. (real miniature tools, just like dad’s). There was a hammer, screwdriver, real nails and tacks in there amongst other things. For a few months afterwards he was constantly in trouble for nailing things down into tables, door frames and chairs. He thought it was great fun “fixing things” and didn’t give a hoot!
My sister and I shared a bedroom when she was small. From an early age she was the tidy one and I was not! We had many run in’s about tidying up and she would complain about my lack of effort. One time she decided she was not going to tidy the bedroom ever again……..of course, she couldn’t bear it and caved in first! However, her quick temper and sharp tongue took the edge of this small victory of mine! The one and only time I saw my mother in tears when I was a child was when my sister had a tantrum in the middle of Manchester town centre. She was about 4 years old, stubborn as a mule and didn't like the new shoes my mum had just bought her. She decided to sit down on the floor in the street and kick and scream until she was hoarse. My mother couldn't move her and passer's-by were staring, tutting and muttering under their breath. My mother's tears were of frustration and embarrassment - she and my sister had very similar temperaments and still do!
Then along came the twins, my youngest sisters. I was eleven when they were born and from the moment I found out that my mum was expecting twins, my life changed forever. I became my mother’s helper in a way I hadn’t been previously. It was hard for my mum who was hospitalised for almost three months before the twins were born, after a scare that she might lose the babies at 26 weeks, especially as they were twins, they were unlikely to survive. She lay on her back in a hospital bed and hardly moved for 11 weeks, until the doctor said the babies would be ok. Some of my lasting memories of them as small children (other than washing nappies, making up bottles and rinsing them out) are when I would take them to nursery school after mum went to work. I would push them along in their pushchair and on the journey, Martina, who was a deep thinker, would ask me all sorts of unanswerable questions like; “If God is everywhere why can’t we see him?” or, “If air is see through how come the sky is blue? Samantha was quieter and more contemplative and would listen to the answers I made up, then she asked me more questions about the answers I had given.
My siblings taught me patience and gave me a sense of fun. We had great times together as children. We were all very fortunate that our parents were loving and kind people who took great care of us. For that I will always be truly grateful.
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