It is really difficult to condense such important topics to a few paragraphs and to keep the commentary concise. So, if you are still trundling along this path with me, thank you and for today the topic is part one of “Places We Have Lived”.
Singapore and friends and family who joined us there.
When my husband and I were driving home after having dinner with a couple of good friends we were catching up with, he turned to me and said “Well what do you think about the Singapore job?” I almost crashed the car (of course, I was the designated driver)! Earlier that evening our friends, who were on home leave from their jobs in Singapore, had casually slipped into the conversation that there could be opportunities coming up for a position there and would be happy to recommend my husband if he wanted them to. I couldn’t believe he was seriously considering it. I had tossed the idea out immediately as being too difficult, especially with two small boys at home – and what about family? How could we leave them behind? The logistics didn’t bear thinking about either. Then, as the idea began to sink in, I started to see real opportunities ahead and soon realised that our fate had been sealed the moment the subject first came up. It was agreed, my husband would go for six months first, just to see how things were and I would follow with the boys later if all was well.
Needless to say, off we went. Lock, stock and barrel and although it was heart-breaking to leave our family behind, it is possibly the best decision we have ever made. It is definitely true that had we decided otherwise, our lives would have been unrecognisably different.
Singapore is a small, well-manicured tropical island off the southern Malaysian Peninsula. It is about the size of Manhattan and it is possible to drive from one end to the other end of it in about forty minutes. At the time we arrived there the population was just over 3 million and most of the expat numbers (which was fairly sizable as an overall proportion) comprised of Americans, Canadians, Brits, Australian’s, New Zealander’s, South African’s and assorted other European’s. Each expat nationality had its own community which included social clubs, schools and network organisations. Sometimes these groups would cross-over and the International Community would come together as a whole, especially with events such as the annual Dragon Boat Festival and at International Schools events whose students were from a multi-national background. This connectivity was vital for newcomer’s support, especially when the newly arrived probably only knew the people they had arrived with in the whole of Singapore!
Everyone tried hard to make it as easy as possible to make friends and be inclusive with newcomers. Veteran residents would regularly push along Welcome Wagons, which would eventually be passed onto those same newbie’s after they had become veterans themselves. It was like watching a rolling stock of people as families arrived and left with a regularity that could leave you breathless, the average term of assignment for foreigners in Singapore at the time was 2 1/2 years total. Friends became firm friends quickly and those friendships were strong and binding. Friends stood in the stead of the family we had all left behind, we were all in it together. They became a support network, sounding board, shoulder to cry on, someone to celebrate with, someone to commiserate with and when the time came, they became the person who moved back home, but, was never forgotten. It was hard to say goodbye and there came a time with the long-termers like us (we lived in Singapore for almost 9 years) when it was just too painful to make new friends because the outcome was inevitable. All those feelings passed though when the time trundled round for the next Great Canadian Picnic or one of the Christmas Ball’s.
Because of living in Singapore I have made many friends, many I am still in touch with by phone or letter and others are friends on Facebook, too. I have gotten to know their children, mothers, brothers and sisters, without even meeting them in person. I know if I came across any of those folk again, we would pick up just where we left off. I miss them but that isn’t a sad thing because my life is richer for having met them at all. I am grateful for all of them and have the fondest memories from our time together.
As well as making new friends, we had many family and friends visit us whilst we lived in Singapore. Our living there offered them an opportunity to visit a place they would otherwise never consider. We always had them stay with us, which was so much part of the fun. With hindsight it is amazing how close and connected we all became during those visits. We laughed and cried, pontificated and debated. Our visitors became like our own personal FedEx rep, bringing with them teabags, chocolate, Oxo cubes, Angel Delight, newspapers and other assorted goodies we could only get from home. They always asked what they could bring and we always had a list! As well as sharing family holiday's with them, we celebrated my uncle’s 65th birthday, hosted the first part of my cousin’s honeymoon and we had parties for each of their arrivals, went sight-seeing until our feet burned and celebrated our time together tirelessly. I am grateful for everyone who came to see us. We had a wonderful time and it was always sad to see them go, but, were delighted they had visited at all. Living in Singapore was such an adventure and I am so grateful to have shared it with so many people.
Thank you for your company this far! We have lived in other places but that account is for another day.
No comments:
Post a Comment